Wisdom for the Ages

My high school ten year reunion should be happening this year. Odds are good that it won't, but I could be wrong.

In any case, I found myself thinking about high school recently. More specifically, I found myself contemplating the lessons I learned there about the confluence of meetings and pizza. I was reminded of one particular lesson at a recent research meeting and realized that this lesson still applies (and that my boss never learned it himself). Because I happen to have this forum, I think I'll share the wisdom in case some of you didn't have the same opportunity I did to pick it up.

Lesson 1: If you want people to attend your meetings, offer them pizza.
Corollary to Lesson 1: If you want to make sure attendance is limited to those serious about the meeting, don't offer pizza.

In other words, for those meetings where quorum or general numbers are important, you can increase attendance by offering to feed people. However, if you accept a certain cynical (realistic) viewpoint and are not worried about making people do their fair share, you might be better off not offering food (or at least not publicizing it). The slackers won't bother to come, and those who are dedicated to the cause will actually be able to get work done. If you're really cynical, the last group does not exist, so you'd better offer pizza.


Lesson 2: Do not serve the pizza until the general business of the meeting is concluded.

This was an actual rule established (and written down) in one of the organizations in which I served in high school (This is also the rule that was neglected in my recent research meeting.) In high school, we found that once pizza became available, nobody paid any attention any more. Even those trying to pay attention were constantly interrupted as people passed around the boxes, requested napkins, and generally participated in the business of eating. We also found that people were more likely to leave early if food had already been served. So we made the rule. Pizza still arrived at the same time, it just sat in the boxes until we got through the agenda. It's amazing how much faster our meetings became. Then again, fewer people showed up on time. Meh, everything is a trade off.