THE DORK STAMP

First, I think I have to start by defining the word "dork." My parents read this blog and, well, as I learned when I affectionately called my mother a dork, it had a very different meaning when they were growing up than it does now.

A dork is someone very like a nerd or a geek. What they share is a certain amount of social awkwardness and an interest in technical subjects. Dorks don't necessarily have the same proficiency as a geek or intelligence as a nerd, just the tendency to get far too excited about uncool topics (if that doesn't make sense now, it will in a moment). In my own personal use (and I hope that of my friends), it's an endearing term, dorks being considered essentially good-hearted but not quite with it. I'm starting to realize that this benevolent view of dorks is more prominent among engineers than other groups, but since I tend to run with engineers (word to my homies) that's okay with me.

My girlfriend will occasionally smack my forehead (gently) and tell me I've earned my dork stamp - the suggestion being that she is marking the word "dork" in a prominent place so others will be warned. As if a sign were really necessary... I said "occasionally" above, but what I meant was "almost daily." The only reason it's not more often is that she has a high tolerance for goofiness (she'd kind of have to, wouldn't she?).

It's certainly a stamp I've earned, although it would probably be more efficient to just get the tattoo. Before you nod your heads and laugh at me, I should remind you, dear readers, that I've had your help for many of my more egregious offenses.

For those of you still feigning ignorance (and the entertainment of those who were not there), allow me to provide a few examples (with the appropriate nod to Jeff Foxworthy).

If you have ever made a joke about Discrete Math or Conic Sections... you might be a dork.

If you have ever repeated to another person your roommate's joke about Discrete Math or Conic sections ... you might be a dork.

If you count on your fingers ... in binary ... you might be a dork.

If you have camped out overnight for the opening of a) a new game system b) a Star Wars movie or c) a Lord of the Rings movie ... you might be a dork.

If you have ever participated in the making of an amateur film about Jedi... you might be a dork.

If the phrase "Imperial Troops sack Rome" in a history book brings to mind the image of Darth Vader and his stormtroopers running amuck through the Coliseum ... and you TOLD someone about this ... you might be a dork.

If you have ever edited a computer game so the characters look like your friends and speak with their voices ... you might be a dork.

If you have ever dressed up for halloween as a character from your favorite movie ... and no one recognized you ... you might be a dork.

If you have ever dressed up for halloween as a character from your favorite BOOK ... you might be a dork.

I think that covers just about everyone who reads this except my parents, and I will not make the mistake of calling them dorks again - I will say this, though, the apple does not fall far from the tree ;-)