Thursday, October 29, 2009
I just watched "Bolt" and now I feel compelled to talk about it. It's been sort of on my list since the Batman trailers. I now understand WHY it was in that group of trailers (you know, mixed in with Watchmen, Terminator Salvation, and Quantum of Solace).
Bolt, for those of you not in the know, is the story of an ordinary dog raised in a TV studio to believe it's the real world, that he really has super powers, and that he and his human are really fighting for their lives against the evil Green Eyed Man and his henchmen. The hilarious hijinks ensue when he escapes the set and tries to use his powers in the real world.
I don't actually have much to say about Bolt. It's a cute movie. A digitally animated cross between Inspector Gadget, The Incredible Journey, and every Jerry Bruckheimer movie ever made. It has its hilarious moments, and it has its predictable Disney moments (both the good kind and the bad kind). The hilarious moments generally outweigh the sap, though, and I think Sarah and I gave it 4 out of 5 stars. I don't know what you'd give it, but when I tell you it's a Disney movie about talking animals you probably already know everything you need to know about whether you'll want to watch it or not.
Today, though, I just had to mention the opening action sequence. That has to be the funniest parody of over-the-top action movies I have ever seen. (Spoiler Alert, I plan to at least partially describe it.) I was amused and entertained through Bolt's acquisition of superpowers, the introduction of the Green-eyed Man, and the attempted kidnapping of Bolt and his owner Penny. I started laughing out loud when the kidnappers immediately escalated to attack helicopters (naturally) but I didn't really lose it until the attack helicopters dropped their secret weapon ... motorcycles ridden by bug-helmeted black-clad bad guys .... with electric claws. After that it's so far over the top they can't go back, so they keep going further. It's what might happen if an action show producer looked at a clip and said "That's great, but can you awesomize it by another 30%." I'm pretty sure that's just what they were going for there and they completely nailed it. Well done.
Ultimately, Sarah and I enjoyed it. Also, I want a dog (it doesn't have to have super powers, though that would be nice).
Thursday, October 15, 2009
I've been turning a number of blog ideas over in my head, but now I'm so mad that you're getting this one instead.
You see, I bought a bag of M&M's this week and I'm very proud of the fact that I haven't finished them off yet. Sarah, mean person that she is, won't recognize this as the startling and impressive achievement I know it to be. She says the only reason I haven't finished off the M&M's is that I've been pigging out on the chocolate chip cookies she baked this weekend. But I've been good there, too! I haven't had more than six a day! I told her this with pride and she yelled at me as if half a dozen cookies is something to be worried about. So I cut back even further and only ate a few M&M's to make up the difference.
This is a big deal, I'm pretty stoked at my self-control here. It's already Thursday and fully half the bag still remains. Plus this wasn't just a bag of M&M's, it was a medium sized bag! I normally get the extra large. I should be getting all sorts of credit and praise for leaving half the bag after five days! That's pretty amazing. I'm getting no recognition at all for my heroic efforts here. In fact, I'm getting mockery.
It hurts, I tell you. I've been trying so hard. It's a struggle, it really is, and I approach her with such pride only to have my efforts belittled. Well, I've had enough. If I'm going to be shamed for eating too many M&M's, I may as well actually eat too many M&M's. Starting tonight, no more restraint. Besides, we're out of cookies.